Breaking: Jussie Smollett re-arrested, now admits to orchestrating attack on himself

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Actor Jussie Smollett has come forward, acknowledging the orchestration of a false hate crime that earned him sixteen felony counts.

In a bizarre change of events, Smollett admitted to staging the alleged attack that he believed to be a victim of earlier this year, noting that he did not believe the matter would be looked in to so seriously.

“I want to apologize to the Chicago Police Department in light of my change of heart on the matter,” he said. “I never knew it would go this far, but I felt it was important to raise awareness.”

Smollett managed to dodge sixteen felony counts in March, thanks to what many believe to be interference by political interests.

According to the Chicago Daily Mail-Tribune, Smollett apologized to those who have actually been the victim of hate crimes, claiming he orchestrated the false report in order to bring their struggles to light.

“Everything I did was for the common man who struggles under the oppressive system we currently live under,” he said. “I don’t expect to be forgiven, but I do expect to be understood.”

Smollett added that he will pay an undisclosed sum to assist with the overtime costs incurred by detectives at the Chicago Police Department.

“Victims deserved to be believed,” he said. “I am grateful that the Chicago PD did the right thing and believed me.”

Amidst the controversy, Smollett is temporarily giving up on acting, and plans on working for charities after his run on the TV show Empire comes to an end.

“I was planning to retire for a while after I was killed off on Empire,” Smollett told reporters. “I think it’s the right thing to do- and quite frankly, it’s time to do other things. Politics, perhaps.”

If you believe that Smollett would do any of these things, you’re probably a good person. Unfortunately for you, it’s April 1st, and you’ve just been fooled.

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